Crawl (or fall) into a pit. Attempt once to climb out. Fall even farther. Give up.
Decide to just start a new life in the pit even though I’m surrounded by dirt.
Try to convince myself that it’s an acceptable way to live since I’ll never get out anyway. Eventually become disgusted with life in the pit and the other pit-people I’ve met along the way.
Realize that I’ve picked up some bad habits from the pit-people, and have passed on some of my own to them.
I have to change, and that it’s not just “survive or thrive”, it’s live or die.
And it’s not just my life, it’s all the people who love me and have tried to throw down ropes to pull me out. We’re all tied together in a paper-chain. And I feel like the weakest link.
But that doesn’t make me unworthy. It makes me human. Forgiving yourself is hard. But no one ever “accidentally” got better. Or got better by distracting themselves with people and things that bring temporary relief or amusement.
Growing up never stops. Forgive life. Forgive yourself.
Take the chance that one day, it might all make sense. Maybe not in this lifetime. But take the “maybe” anyway, and live in it.
If you’re alive, you still have a chance. I know I do too.
Comments