I’ve been in headache and murder city all day. But you know what the silver linings are? Not being the murdered person. Having a comfortable couch to lay and feel bad on. Also not being “for real” sick. So I’m not gonna make a song and dance about it.
I hope it’s obvious that by “murder city” I mean “murder SHOW city.”
Let’s talk about happy things.
1. I have an interview for a new job Monday. I guess I could say “may the odds be ever in my favor” - but life in general is made of ”let the cards fall as they may.” 2. My creative non-fiction class starts in 10 days! I am excited! I am praying that my mentor‘s criticism will feel more like guidance - versus popping my self esteem balloon. But my reactions are up to me. More experience with failure or criticism = practice = growth, maturity, progress.
3. The people I love the most remain emotionally intact and I have followed suit. My brother had a seizure. It’s been a challenging season for my whole family. We’re all hurting, but still putting our pants on everyday.
4. I have free time now. ONLY free time. 8 days ago I was a too-busy girl. A girl who regularly “blanked out” into spaciness from stress. It was alarming, but is now disappearing.
Life isn’t good. But it isn’t ALL bad. I have a choice to get better even if life doesn’t. And I am.
Here’s to appreciating mild things... and holding onto hope that a day will come when much of this scariness turns into memories.
It might not end in a way we like. The season may end with loss. Everyone that’s still alive will end up with battle scars. But faking it is the new making it. Going through the motions successfully still counts as progress.
Ler’s survive.
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