“I’ll only hurt you in my dreams.”

I need to be asleep. But I’m not.

I’m grateful for:

- A reasonably productive Monday at work

- The fact that I ate a bunch of junk food BUT… threw most of it out. It could have been worse. It HAS been worse in the past. - Being alive

- Murder, She Wrote

- The song ”Feed the Tree” by Belly - “silver baby come to me, I’ll only hurt you in my dreams.” Possibly the best lyrics ever written IMO. I feel this way about a few people. Then again, who doesn’t?

- No Facebook or Instagram for 9 days. I feel cleaner. It is nice to be out of everyone’s heads… AND VICE VERSA. Let’s all mutually erase each other, shall we?

- Being employed in general

- The fact that Whole Foods offers dead fish free sushi. Hands in the air like I just don’t care… about anything except vegetables! - The fact that I am LOVED. Spoiled? Enabled?

- The fact that I am UNMARRIED AND CHILDLESS. - Mallory Pancakes aka “FlipinskI” - cuddles, love, comfort, acceptance, and an adorable sandpaper tongue - wrapped up in 10 pounds of fluff.

I’m a broken record when it comes to things I’m grateful for - but these things mean so much and are WORTH reiterating. I can’t forget. I can’t. This is what staying alive is made of. Memories of all shapes and sizes that get tucked away to replay later when I feel cornered.

I have made promises.. to myself, which are more important than the ones I have made to other people. Promises to show up and push forward. Promises to be on time. Drink water. Floss. Read. Moisturize. Be kind.

You get the picture.

And you think I’d say “I’m grateful for my life!” but what is more to the point - “I’m grateful I’m not dead.” Really, deeply, truly I am.