WELL kids, all is NOT well.
Medical chaos has erupted. It’s not happening to me, but a beloved someone very close to yours truly. It’s frightening. Sad. Frustrating. A merry go round of unsavory adjectives.
I have no control over it. And I’m not in a room with it, which is an overt blessing.
I’m panicky. I’m not always a picnic when extreme scenarios play out, and am always swimming on the reactive side of “worst case scenarios.”
The whole thing sucks, but there has been some medical improvement. Improvement which I’m (frankly) not banking on. I Refuse with a capital R to ever fall into a fairytale imagination land where all of this dissolves away. I can’t bank my hopes on that.
There is a such thing as healthy hoping and coping. And what does that look like?!
Well, I need just enough hope to trust that peace will come again. I try not to hope for outcomes or bargain with God.
There’s no telling what could happen next. I must prepare for the worst but not fixate on it. To hell with hoping for “the best.” Since when does “the best” actually happen?
Sometimes “better” comes, but the “bests“ that we hope for are no more than childish wishes. We don’t have a complete picture. God does.
Trust God. Praying for peace... In illness and wellness.
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