This first week I got a blow... followed by a second medium blow, that was topped off by a full on baseball bat beating that knocked the wind out of me.
Metaphorically speaking, but I’ve cried so much that it might be a bit literal.
Still learning to breath normally after that last one. It is gonna take time, hope, responsibility and faith.
On some level I can see God at work. It all comes down to the removal of security nets that force me to learn to swim without floaties.
I took a bunch of Ativan all day and my day felt like half a dream, because I wasn’t fully conscious of the real world around me.
One thing did make me happy though. I can’t say what. I just wonder if “the thing” is leading me towards a soft place I will be able to make my home.
Regardless, this will pass. Painfully pass. Life will throw me a mixed bag of surprises.
Believe in it. Trust in it. Hope for it. It’s inevitable .
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