Let’s catch up, if you’re new here:
My name is… the name of this website. I go by “Caitlin”, never “Catie.” I’ll be 34 next month, live in Dallas, TX (the actual city as opposed to one of its innumerable suburbs, and I always feel the need to point that out to others for reasons I can’t understand.)
I am a single cat (Mallory Pancakes) lady with a dead father (cancer/stroke) and 2 immediate family members left in this state which I do not politically align with. Also have an associates degree that I don’t bother to capatalize (or dust.)
The rest of my extended family is in Pennsylvania. My brother (Miles) has autism and Down syndrome and I help care for him. He lives with my (amazingly strong) mother. I have worked in mostly administrative medical roles - (in a hospital setting.) I just quit my job as a case manager after a Big Promotion that wasn’t quite right for me and am now about to start another new job in healthcare.
I am also a blooming writer. I try to think of myself as blooming, anyway. There’s a lot more I could say, but that should serve as enough stage.
So if you’ve made it this far, I’ll give you a rundown of my recent happenings:
I’d start at the beginning of this summer, but I’m not sure which beginning is the “best” to start with (as no one says.)
I was hospitalized from June 10-18 at UTSW Medical Center. I received excellent care, but I will say there are many little memory fragments from that time are painful. Maybe more on that later.
I returned and hobbled around my workplace briefly, then quit on June 28th. With nothing lined up. I applied for jobs and interviewed furiously. Luckily I reeled in a new job within a couple of months and after a brief snafu with the maneuverings of my onboarding and start date, am scheduled to start next week. I’m excited for the shining, sparkling offices - which include a gym. You wouldn’t believe the elevators - they rise up swiftly and soundlessly, like magic. I’ll be working in a corporate office, and it is in one of the most high end buildings in DFW. There is a break room readily stocked with snacks. The dress code is “business professional” (!!) so actual dress shopping has been taking place. Twirl, twirl!! (not really - no Disney Esmeralda skirts, I’m afraid, though I wish that could be appropriate.)
I’ve spent a lot of time during this unemployment phase reading, writing, wondering, and wandering - around coffee shops, Barnes and Noble, and the library. I’ve even been working with a personal trainer in a “women’s small group.” I’ve had a lot of time to turn over my life and specifically my career burnout, which I saw coming from 267 miles away. I gave too much of myself to chasing so-called “career success” as if it were something I could cage, like some prized pet canary, to keep it from flying out of my hands.
It’s something I wouldn’t recommend pinning your identity on. It can become corrupted by human error or can fly away for good in a simple closed door conversation. So what’s the answer? Hell if I know. I guess it’s to not tie yourself too tightly to anything that can sink you. Find something freeing and convince yourself to want it. For me, that is writing and loving, symbiotic relationships with “positive people.” Those things can be hard to find.
My circle is small but mighty. I am grateful for everyone who loves me and supports me. I need to work on adding myself to that list, frankly. To better accept love and my own worthiness.
I pray for more wonder, hope, and peace. That’s all for tonight. Thank you for being here.
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